People suck

I had a horrible last 2 days at work. To the point that I'm really considering quitting as the only option. I won't, but it just drives me nuts when I work hard at something and get nothing but grief. Or when I help someone and because there's no solution to the problem that it's suddenly reason to bitch me out. Sometimes life hands you shitty situations and you have to choose between 2 shitty choices. I also feel like I've been trying way too hard and putting too much effort into certain situations where I really shouldn't be because it's going unnoticed. I will never change and never stop being the nice guy, but I really need to stop being so nice to certain people who aren't appreciative. Ok, time to do some math.

Farting Coworkers

Really quickly I need to write about how I'm pretty sure a coworker just farted on me. We were at a seminar for work and she let one rip and then said "Oh, I'm sorry." Then she turned and walked away slowly. Now I know she's mad at me for things I did last week. She's been following me around and trying to catch me making a mistake. I guess she's given up that hope and is just going to settle her anger in a less mature way. The best thing is you'd think we were all alone in a hall way or something. Not the case. We were waiting in the sign out line at the seminar so about 25 other people heard the fart and the apology. In better news, my boss sat me down and said she's really going to miss me when I'm gone because she's going to have no one intelligent to talk with.

Random thoughts

Location: My room
Listening to: The Rocket Summer
Watching: The Giants
Reading: Eragon by C. Paolini
Study Progress: Part 6 of 6 in week 2 of 11

The Giants need to step it up. I cut them some slack because I was distracted by the Yankees, but now it's time to get back into football. I'm not happy with them at all.

It's also time to get back to studying. I messed up and didn't register in time for the December exam so now I have to wait until February. It stinks, but after spending a lot of time in NYC and meeting some awesome people recently it's making me more focused on getting a job in NYC. It also made me realize that not being closer to the city means I miss a lot of stuff.

That's pretty much all I have to say. Go Yanks! #27!! I went to the parade and it was awesome, but my legs still hurt 2 days later. Either I need to start getting back in shape or standing around in the cold for 7 hours in one spot is a bad idea. Also I'm going to go heat up my leftover chicken makhani and Jersey City is leading slightly in my JC vs. Brooklyn where should I move poll.

I also need a new camera. My crappy Sony camera broke. Anyone have any thoughts?

Normalcy

Location: My room
Listening to: N/A
Watching: Juno
Reading: Eragon by C. Paolini
Study Progress: Part 6 of 6 in week 2 of 11

I'm freaking out a little about this exam. Hopefully I'll be able to focus this weekend and get lots of work done. The Yankees and Jack's Mannequin have taken over my life. Now I'm ready to kick math's ass.

This past week I realized I'm ready for a move to NYC. I was always afraid of it being too big. Then I ran into a good friend in Times Square and then ran into the same girl twice in 2 weeks. It's not as big as it seems. I also was walking around New Brunswick and realized it's time I leave Middlesex County. I know that a lot of people become big fish in little ponds. I am a big fish in the little pond that is East Coast Title, but as far as Woodbridge goes I feel like a tiny fish in a little pond. People tell me to become a bigger fish, but after hanging out in NYC and feeling completely comfortable and completely awesome for being me I am ready to find a new pond.

The best part of these past 2 weeks. I got to meet my hero Andrew McMahon twice and I realized he's still a hero, but after being completely in awe of him I realized I was being a groupie. Last night I saw Andrew's "Dear Jack" documentary and during the Q&A I realized how many people have cancer or other illness or other terrible life changing situations. It's about 100% of people. I need to live life. I was just excited to hang out with awesome people at a bar in the city. I felt 100% normal and had such a fun time that I didn't even notice they were guys in one of my favorite bands. It was really awesome to see Andrew hanging out and being normal.

At first I was very nervous. I met Jon, the bass player, and his friends and was a little in awe that I was hanging out with him and having a normal conversation. We were talking about vinyl vs. cassette vs. cd vs. mp3 vs. streaming. It was like we were friends for years. It was really a shock to see successful musicians actually being awesome people and not assholes. I was so nervous in fact that I was rambling on and on to this poor girl that I had met at a show a few days before. We walked for about 20-25 blocks to get to the bar from the movie theatre. The band made me get rid of this girl that was trying to get into the bar with us and I felt horrible because I was having a really awesome conversation with a girl that I don't even know. Luckily I got her number so I could apologize for not being able to get her into the bar. They say don't ever say sorry because it shows weakness, but I truly was sorry.

I was having such a good time just walking and talking with her that it was sad to see the conversation come to an end. I have a feeling I was more excited to be with her and she was just excited to get to drink a beer with Andrew. I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend. It could also be that she's a social worker and can sense I'm a little off and wanted to learn more, but more likely it was her being as nervous and excited as I was to hang out with the band. She was probably more nervous and anxious than I was actually.

So after I thought I was now black listed I apologized to Jon and his friends about a million times and of course bought the first round of drinks hoping they would like me. Turns out they were totally cool and I didn't even have to do that. They gave me a hard time for bringing "a groupie" along. Rookie mistake. I guess she was a groupie, but a really awesome groupie. I insist that she's just a really awesome fan. Then later everyone apologized for making me ditch the girl. It was such a fun night. Never in my wildest dreams did I think a rockstar would be so cool and so normal. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be at a bar engaged in conversation and laughing and having a great time with the people in that room. I got invited to an exclusive night club that had an $80 cover. I couldn't go because stupid NJ Transit stops at 1:18 and I would have gotten stuck in the city.

I also have a greater appreciation for how hard people work in the music industry. People in that bar were having fun, but still discussing business or trying to make connections. It was awesome for me to be able to say I don't work in the industry and just enjoy the night. Special thanks to Adam Zengel for always working and trying to better the industry and for meeting Ryan at Rutgers who made this whole awesome experience happen. I also have a new found hope that me being me is more than good enough. I don't need to try to pretend to be someone I'm not and my geeky side and my musical side and my sports loving side and my naive side and my hopeless romantic side and my awkward side and my humorous side make me me and if that's not good enough for people then they can go f*** themselves.

I can honestly say these past 2 weeks have been unbelievably awesome for me and I feel like my head is finally on straight for the first time in my life. I also cherish normalcy and I've felt so normal the past few weeks. Being happy is an addiction. I don't think I've been this happy in so long that I've forgotten what it feels like.

In "Dear Jack" Andrew talks about wanting someone to give him a roadmap on how to fight cancer. It obviously was one of very few weak moments he had when fighting leukemia. I think part of my problem is I've been waiting for someone to hand me a roadmap to life. I don't regret anything I've done, but I think that just living life is the way to go. I think I'm ready for that now.

Ok time to finish Juno and then get some rest so I can hit the books in the morning.

A Million and One Thanks

Location: My bed
Listening to: "Caves" by Jack's Mannequin

Watching: N/A
Reading: Eragon by C. Paolini
Study Progress: Part 6 of 6 in week 2 of 11

The point of this blog entry is simply to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who helped me through an extremely difficult part of my life. I want to thank those of you who didn't even know I was sick and made my life worth living. I especially want to thank those of you who knew I was sick and treated me the same as before I was diagnosed and were ultimately my support system when I was.

For those who didn't know when I was 20 I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. When I was 25 and after trying every medication available and visits to the best doctors in the world at Mt. Sinai in Manhattan, we made a decision to surgically remove my colon and make a j-pouch to act as a colon.

For those of you who know me closely I am a big music fan and Something Corporate and Jack's Mannequin are 2 of my favorite bands. I was lucky enough (again through the help of a friend) to be able to meet Andrew McMahon, the front man of both bands, this past Monday. It was nothing more than a meet and greet with 30 or so other fans. He might remember me as Adam's friend, but nothing more than that. When I found out I had the opportunity to meet him I tried to think of what I wanted to say to him. I couldn't be concise and everything I wanted to say would have probably taken 30 minutes to get out so I said simply said nothing worthwhile. For those of you who don't know Andrew's story he beat leukemia.

He's someone I idolize for the way he has handled his situation and the way he lives life. Just being in his presence was awesome. Since I couldn't think of the right words I decided the best thing to do was to help him feel normal so I treated him more like a rockstar than a cancer survivor. Since the day I was diagnosed, the days I cherish the most are the days when I just feel normal for as long as possible.

As soon as I left I knew exactly what I should have said. The next time I get to meet him I simply want to say thank you. "Thank you for being there in my iPod the countless hours I was in a hospital bed or getting a treatment or home recovering."

I remember one day I was in Overlook Hospital's Oncology Department getting a treatment. My dad was with me and these old women who were getting chemo were just so nice to me since they thought I was fighting cancer. Obviously I was new and had my hair so they were giving me blankets and other stuff like magazines and books and it was so nice. Looking back and hearing Andrew talk about his Dear Jack foundation I know appreciate all I've been through and I want to try to pay everything forward. Anyway, I remember I was listening to Something Corporate and ignoring my dad. I find one of the hardest things to deal with is making people sad. When you're alone in a hospital room you miss people and want the people that are important in your life next to you. The difficult thing is having them there and seeing sad looks on their faces. Seeing that look on the faces of my parents or brother or really anyone you care about that hurts more than any pain I've ever felt. Anyway back to the treatment on that particular day with my 3 blankets (even though I didn't want any blankets) and my dad reading one of his books. I remember SoCo was playing in my ears and I wanted to shut out the world so it was just me and Andrew and the Spanish Channel so I could watch a World Cup Soccer Match (it was Argentina and someone else). I remember looking around the room and seeing good in people and realizing that no matter how bad a situation is it's always worse for someone else. Andrew's music is so positive that I have also tried to be as positive as possible although I don't always succeed at that.

Back to the concert, I know he doesn't realize what he did, but he looked at me when he saw I was singing his song "The Resolution" and that meant a lot. It could have totally been in my mind, but he looked at me multiple times during that song. Some of the lyrics of that song are "Yeah I'm alive, but I don't need a witness to know that I survived. I'm not looking for forgiveness. Yeah, I just need the light. I need light in the dark as I search for the resolution."

I've spent the last 2 nights "searching for the resolution" so to speak. I haven't been able to sleep because my mind has just been racing trying to figure this out. I figured it out thanks to youtube. I saw an interview with Andrew where he put it all in perspective for me and justified my thoughts. He was talking about his song "Caves" and he said that having a cancer battle is like a symphony and that's what he was going for with that song. It was being diagnosed, then fighting, and finally reconciling what you've been through. It's so simple, but it was that reconciling process that had me hung up. "It's not about being sick, it's about getting well." I don't think anything says it better than that. "It's still real here on the other side and now we're back to real living and having to reconcile that. It was a hard thing to reconcile, it was a hard thing to reconcile, but I think I'm pretty reconciled about it."

I guess the last piece of this entry is something that I've learned is the best way to make someone feel better is to just act normally. As hard as that is, I can honestly say the best memories in the hospital are when friends come and are just normal and don't ask you what the doctors are doing tomorrow or how the food was. I remember it was the day after my surgery I had 3 really good friends in my room and my parents had left and there was maybe 30 minutes before visiting hours were over and the nurse said hello to them and they could stay for 30 minutes, but she wouldn't tell if they wanted to stay late. Then they got "waxed in" my room. It literally was like being on Scrubs, no one could get in or out of my room for an hour or so until the wax dried. I think that was my favorite night in the hospital.

Finally keep your calendars open on May 23rd. I'll be organizing a team to do a walk on the boardwalk in Belmar. So once I set it up you can join me. It's to benefit the Crohn's and Colitis foundation and if that's not enough the team name is TCFS. Tim's Colitis Fighting Squad will have the coolest team shirts ever.

In short, thanks.

Cluck U

Location: My room
Listening to: Motion City Soundtrack (iPod Shuffle)
Watching: Rutgers v. FIU, 3-0 RU
Reading: Eragon by C. Paolini
Study Progress: Part 2 of 6 in week 2 of 11

My friend got me into watching boxing. He gets Cluck U and invites me over ... I can't turn down Cluck U. So I have a new found respect for boxers. Some of them are dirt bags, but they are athletes. That having been said ... are you kidding me Mayweather. It drives me crazy when boxers can't make weight. I understand how difficult it is to make weight. Don't misunderstand me, being an elementary school coach it kills me when runners are underweight or overweight and when young kids have to alter normal eating habits to make weight for wrestling. It's ok for boys to do that for wrestling, but then we're supposed to teach the girls that it's bad. Anyway, if I was a boxer and if I knew that there was a $300,000 fine for each pound I was overweight, I'd make weight. Mayweather was 2 pounds over. $600,000!!!!! My brother said yeah, but he'll make millions for this fight. He's absolutely right, but $600,000!!!! My dad did well for himself in life by being an attorney, and we don't live in a house worth anything close to $600,000.

Now I'm getting a little political, so sorry if you don't want to read on. It drives me crazy that rich people are complaining about a tax increase for the rich. I know there are plenty of wealthy people that don't fall into this category, so this next statement is for the jerks that are idiots. How am I supposed to have sympathy for you when I see everyday people doing short sales on their homes if they're lucky to avoid foreclosure and my boss doing 2-3 searches a day on foreclosures. Then remembering people complaining about a tax increase to the rich and also fighting universal health care. You people have money so you'll always have health insurance and another point is you'll also have the best health care. Please don't argue how quality of health care will decrease. You're 100% wrong. I've had health problems and needed to see doctors in NYC and they didn't take health insurance at all. They were the best doctors in the world for what I needed so I paid every penny and went into debt. My point is don't do stuff like AIG spas or bonuses or just take a $600,000 fine because you can't make weight and then turn around and complain about money.

That having been said, I wish I could say Mayweather pissed me off and I want to see him get his face beat in, but he's going to win. He's good and there's a reason he has $600,000 to throw away. Ok so now I should go do some more math before Cluck U. It never gets old.

P.S. This might make sense I'm not really sure it was just a rant and I didn't feel like reading it and making corrections so it was in English.

Dear Jack

Location: My kitchen

Listening to: Less Than Jake (Pezcore)

Watching: Yanks/Blue Jays (Don't mess with Jorge. Shelly Duncan was a good addition in fight situations)

Reading: Eragon by C. Paolini

Study Progress: Part 2 of 3 in week 1 of 11

I just wanted to make everyone aware of the following DVD. I'd recommend you buy it, but I haven't seen it yet. I'm very excited to see it and I think it's something that everyone should see.

I can't put in words how much Andrew McMahon has done for me. I've only seen him perform once live and have never met him, but he's such an example that I try to follow when living my life. I've learned that no matter what stands in your way you can still accomplish your goals with hard work.

Andrew's the lead singer of Jack's Mannequin and Something Corporate and they made a documentary about the last few years of his life. "The long awaited film, Dear Jack, chronicles Andrew McMahon on a rollercoaster year, through the highs of recording and releasing a solo album (under the name Jack's Mannequin) and the lows of being diagnosed with leukemia and breaking up with the love of his life. "Dear Jack" is a breathtakingly emotional film as well as a testament to family, friends and, perhaps more than anyone will ever know, a love of making music."

You can preorder Dear Jack at the following website:

http://download.wbr.com/jacksmannequin/newsletters/091409.html

Other than that, I don't really have much to say except that I busted my ass last week and over the weekend to get ready for an audit and it went extremely well. So well in fact, my boss proved she knew more than the auditor and almost punched her in the head. She definitely made this woman cry when she left our office. The woman called her an hour later to apologize for being an idiot.

P.S. I'm really starting to focus on math again and my brain finally can read a word problem and get all the information and not get tricked by the problems anymore. I'm a little behind on the studying, but I'll catch up this weekend.

It's called fashion Timothy

Location: My room (recovering from an experience at the library)

Listening to: Autopilot Off (Make a Sound)

Watching: Pitt/Tenn 0-0 (Pitt just blocked a fg. That'll make Auntie K happy.)

Reading: Eragon by C. Paolini

Study Progress: Part 1 of 3 in week 1 of 11

I didn't get much studying done today because I have awesomely funny friends. So my theory is I'll meet the girl of my dreams in either the library or Barnes and Noble. I also need to study so it's probably just wishful thinking. So 4 girls walked into my public library today. All of them obviously used the same bleach blonde hair dye and they were commenting on how great the others hairs looked. Then I noticed a girl with a boob belt. Apparently I don't understand fashion.

This was the facebook status I posted and the abbreviated conversation that ensued.

Can someone explain to me why girls where belts under their boobs? Is it a tribute to steve urkel? Does it have some sort of function? Did they win some sort of WWE or boxing title? I don't get it.

its called fashion timothy lol - mg

I'm pretty sure that's the wrong answer. Try again. - tc

ok fine ..to make their boobs look bigger? - mg

there is never an answer to why girls dress, behave, and act the way they do - ba

hahahahaha brian that is definitely the right answer. - tc

fashion is pretty much mass amounts of people looking dumb at the same time. the dumb look changes from time to time so these dumb people can buy more stuff and help our economy... I should write a book called The Capitalism of looking Dumb - js

I don't know how the Nobel process works, but I'd vote for you Jake. - js

lmao i regret even involving myself in this conversation - mg (mg's a boob belt enthusiast. In my opinion she'd be a good person to interview for js's book. I don't get how beautiful girls like her don't realize how these boob belts make them look ridiculous.)

Megan I need you to stop this hideous fashion trend. Be a rebel say no to boob belts. -tc

Thanks Tim... what really makes you look dumb is looking dumb in a different way then everyone else. Once everyone else adopts your dumb look, you no longer look dumb.. how weird is that? Then of course you have hipsters which are a different animal all together - js

Your 2nd book in the series ... The Capitalism of Looking Cooler than No One. - tc

To keep this intellectual Urban Dictionary defines Boob Belt as "A belt that a woman wears above her waist and below her breast, which makes her breast more noticeable." This is how they use it in a sentence "-Damn Jenny's boobs look great
-Duh, she's wearing a boob belt" - tc

I am dying because this proves another little known stereotype that Pedone's West Philly class introduced to me. "All white girls is named Jennifer." -tc

hahahaha... good title... Hipster are even weirder... They are trying to look horribly dumb for the sake of coolest out of irony... but there are millions of hipsters who look the same way so in fact, they are failing at this. technically they are looking cool, although they dont want to..,. ok I am done, my brain is starting to hurt... - js

a boob belt?! I've never seen or heard of such a thing. insanity - dg

we need to get you out of the lab dr. gella and into the public library. i'm updating my blog with a photo. - tc (I don't lie)

oh thank god. i want to be able to rock the latest trends in lab and if that means I need a boob belt, well so be it - dg

I appreciate any fashion statement that says, "Hey! These are my boobs! Look at them!" Provided said boobs are ones I would want to look at. -bh

*This post is the first part in a series in which running dorks educate doctors.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Location: My room

Listening to: Jack's Mannequin (The Glass Passenger)

Watching: Yanks/TB (Current Score 2-1 TB, Jeter tied Gehrig)

Reading: Eragon by C. Paolini

Study Progress: Part 1 of 3 in week 1 of 11

I was going to title this Revelation 9, but then I read that the Manson Family claimed the Beatles were telling them that Revolution 9 was a reference to Chapter 9 in the book of Revelation which is about the apocalypse and prophecy.

So Life Goes On is more appropriate for this post and 09.09.09

I originally thought this post would be ripping girls for being dumb and stupid and always putting me in the friend zone. I was going to say how great I am and how if I'm a great friend give me a shot at being more than friends. Also it was going to be about how I'm not being friends with girls because girls like the bad guys that treat them wrong so maybe I should try that.

...then I had a revelation. Whenever I get depressed or think my life sucks I generally try to listen to Jack's Mannequin or Something Corporate because Andrew McMahon beat cancer and is living an awesome life so what am I complaining about. I forgot to do that until a friend of mine asked where she could donate money for a walk I'm helping a friend raise money more. I had forgotten my own cardinal rule of listen to Andrew on my iPod whenever I get depressed. So I put it on Jack's Mannequin and had the following revelation.

If you want good things you have to go out there and get them. In particular I noticed that getting out of the "Friend Zone" is so simple. My dad taught me about zone defense in rec basketball. You have to learn to work with what the defense is giving you and look for weaknesses in the zone so you can get an open shot. I used to look at the "Friend Zone" as more of a place that you got stuck in. Now I look at it that if you're stuck in a place where you don't want to be you have options. Stay and make the best of it, do something to better your situation, or just get up and leave.

Look at me being an optimist.

Format

When I was sitting in Barnes and Noble people watching I decided to make this blog have some sort of routine. I'm trying to get my life into a routine so I can pass the Financial Mathematics Exam in the Actuarial Series in early December so this makes sense.

Location: Woodbridge Library

Listening to: Rage Against the Machine (Rage Against the Machine)

Watching: Gamecast of Yanks/TB (Current Score 1-0 NYY)

Reading: Eragon by C. Paolini

Study Progress: Part 1 of 3 in week 1 of 11

Your slice of pi: I'm annoyed that I just got a text that Tim Lincecum is out for at least 5 days. That's why I'm taking a study break. I won the regular season and it's the first week of the playoffs and I'm going to lose because Lincecum is down, Jeter went hitless in 2 games yesterday, Aaron Hill had to leave the game early because his wife went into labor, and Ryan Braun is hurt. It's like they say anything can happen in the playoffs.

Also on my mind is camping/hiking/backpacking and how I'm going to save up to buy gear in the spring and a roof rack for my car so I can bring my bike along.

I'm really motivated to study and actually stay on task and sit for this exam in December and start a new career. At the same time I need to start waking up early and getting back into shape.

I'm also thinking about going to the first ever St. Joe's football game on Saturday and see what alumni show up.

I'm going to start reading fun books more at night and watch less TV so I can finish the 3 Paolini books and then move on to the Dan Brown world of Digital Fortess, Deception Point, and The Lost Symbol. (Sidenote: I do like that Barnes and Noble is open on weekends and holidays and has a Starbucks, but the library has free books. Also they don't yell at me for bringing my Nalgene because apparently in their eyes water isn't a necessity to live it's "an outside beverage". I save 10% on their overpriced Fiji water that I know Mr. Fischer would say is not from Fiji because he's tasted water from Fiji.)

Also this is mostly for Leigh. How do I link this to Facebook so it will update Facebook?

Alright back to studying Equivalent Rates of Interest and Present Values.

Runner's Pi

So I'm new to this whole blogging thing and it took me a long time to come up with the name Runner's Pi. I'm pretty proud of it. That's enough work for tonight.