Great 30th Year!

I've decided to do something great as I embark towards my 30th birthday. I always thought it would have happened by now, but it didn't so it will happen in the up and coming year. As I get ready to go out celebrating with my great friends, I realize there are 2 friends that I'm missing. I know Mitch would be buying me a drink at Fox and Jake would have some great comment posted on my wall. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have lived for 29 years and done the things I have done up until this point. It also makes me realize that I can do more. I can be a better person. I can always strive to better myself. While I was remembering my friends I couldn't help, but find the beauty in this world. I am going to be an uncle. Cheesy with the whole with death comes rebirth sort of thing, and perhaps just odd timing, but nevertheless a great thing and I'm so happy for my cousin and her husband. Uncle Tim. I'm glad I have my dad's name because Uncle Tim doesn't sound weird at all since my dad has been called that for years.

There's plenty of fish in the sea.

I watched the movie "500 Days of Summer" tonight for the first time. I love this movie. I will probably never watch it again, but I did really get a lot out of it. There are girls in my past who have been great friends who I could have been romantically involved with and for whatever reason I wasn't. Most of the time I was afraid of taking a chance and ruining a friendship. After joining the dating site Plenty of Fish and having only 2 girls look at my profile in the first week, I was really depressed and afraid that my worst fears were true. I'm not an attractive guy and it's clear that I'm also not interesting and that a stupid dating site isn't where I need to be finding girls. I think this is true. I need to just go with the flow. If I'm friends with a girl, I can't be afraid of being friends with her and if something romantic happens along the way great. If it doesn't that's fine too. If I get my heart broken, then so what. It's happened tons of time before. I have to just accept that I'm a great person and sometimes that spark just isn't there and there's nothing I can do to change that. No matter how much I want to change it or try to change it, it just won't. There's that spark that is magical that you just can't make. It just needs to happen. I really like how that movie ends. It makes me realize that life goes on and I laughed when I started thinking to myself, there are plenty of fish in the sea. What a good name for a dating website. I also don't think it's me being a hopeless romantic, but I just don't think a dating website is for me. I don't think the type of girl I'll end up falling in love with will be a girl that goes on a dating website. So I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and hope to run into her one day.

I also still refuse to believe everything happens for a reason. I do believe that you need to sometimes take a deep breath and look at life from a different point of view. I decided my next move in life is going to be a computer geek. I have 6 years of experience in the industry and while I feel I'm not as qualified because I don't have any Microsoft Certifications, I decided to get some. When I went on the website I noticed with the launch of Windows 7, there are all new certifications and the old certifications are outdated. So really I'm on a somewhat even playing field!!! I also realized that I have many connections in the tech field and have had job opportunities come my way that I've passed up and I shouldn't have.

Also, as of right now. I really think I want to start running and getting in shape aain.

Everything Happens for a Reason

Something that I've heard too often recently is "Everything Happens for a Reason." For 28 years I've believed that. Last week I realized I don't believe that and never will. I believe there are weird coincidences and strange things happen in this world. Maybe somethings happen for a reason, but it can't be simplified to everything happens for a reason. Losing 2 friends in accidents in a 12 day period makes me believe there is no reason why that happened. No reason you give me will ever be good enough. I simply wish people would say "I know it sucks and it will never make sense, but try to be positive and make the best of a bad situation." I also realized that basically the only way I want to live life is to make the best of every situation. When things are going good I have to remember to still make the best of these good situations. You can always make things better, even if they're great.

That having been said my aunt's dog died suddenly. This is no way related to "Everything Happens for a Reason." It was a dog. Dogs die. Things happen in 3 I guess. I house and dog sat for my aunt and uncle when they would go away. It made me sad that not more people got to know my aunt's dog. He was a golden retriever and very hyperactive. So at family functions he couldn't come out to play. He was a great dog though. I hope my aunt gets a new one soon. Although I know she'll wait a few years. Puppies are fun.

Bros before hoes

Location: Backyard Listening to: Kid Dynamite Reading: Eldest by C. Paolini Study Progress: Week 8 of 12

There is nothing better than hanging out with good friends. I've had to learn the hard way that I really need to cherish moments with my good friends, because life is short and it could be the last time. That having been said I always have been a pretty good judge of character and I need to stop chasing after girls who I know are wrong for me. That time could be better spent hanging out with the people that actually do matter.

For those of you who don't know, I lost 2 friends in 12 days. I wouldn't say they were my closest friends, but they were really nice and awesome guys who I'm proud to call friends. I blogged about Jake earlier and Mitch was a great guy too and taken from us too young.

Love life hardcore

Location:Library
Listening to:fun.
Reading: Eldest by C. Paolini
Study Progress: Week 7 of 12



On Sunday a friend of mine died suddenly. He wasn't one of my close friends, but we kept in touch from time to time. It really hit me a lot harder than I was expecting. It's a tribute to the life he lived and how special he was and that in only a short time he made such a huge impact on the world. I am trying to take away something positive from this. It made me realize I have been a poser. I said I was going to start living life. I wasn't I was hiding from life in a library. I learned I need to adjust my life. I have great friends and not being able to experience things with them because I'm in the library is a waste of time. I'm not giving up on my dream of becoming an actuary. I'm just not going to stress anymore. If I study and I'm not ready in time for the exam I'll just keep doing what I do and take it the next time it's offered. Jake, I will never thank you for helping me realize this because I'd rather have you here telling me about a new band I check out or show me how just being me is more than being cool. Jake loved life hardcore. Thanks DBY for that awesome saying. So simple and yet so accurate. He was in a band called Dreams Forever Drowning. Looking back I find that ironic. He lived life hardcore. His dreams were far from drowning. I'd also like to take this time to apologize to anyone I had to cancel plans with because of this stupid exam. It won't happen again.

Penny

Location: Work
Listening to: The Format
Reading: Eldest by C. Paolini
Study Progress: Week 8 of 12

Just a quick update. I realized something. I am Leonard searching for my Penny. It's just so stupid. If you watch the Big Bang Theory, Penny is a exactly the type of girl I chase after for all the wrong reasons. She's hot and that's about it. She appears to be interested in Leonard, but is only using him to pass the time while she's waiting for the high school quarterback to break up with the head cheerleader. I mean Leonard goes above and beyond the call of duty to impress Penny, finally gets her to be his girlfriend, then says I love you and she says thanks and realizes she can never love him. Why do I continue to chase after this type of girl instead of trying to pick up a girl at the library?

Irked

It truly irks me that I can never truly please some people. It also amazes me how people think studying for this exam is stressing me out, when in reality it's everything else I have to do which is preventing me from studying that is upsetting me. I also hate feeling like I'm wrong for taking a day to myself. Why is it ok for everyone else in this world to enjoy life but me? Time for some change. Off to Barnes and Noble instead of the library.